From Binge Drinking to Breakthrough with guest Chrystal Cuellar | Ep 15

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Hey friend. Welcome to a new creation podcast where we're pointing women towards victory in Christ Jesus story at a time. My name is Jemese LaChel. I'm so glad that you're here. Let's dive right in to today's episode.

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Welcome back, friends. This is Jemese and man, I have an exciting episode for you today. I've got Chrystal Cuellar.  She is a Christian life coach. You might also call her a sober coach or sobriety coach.

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And she's going to be sharing with us a little bit about how the Lord led her into this vocation and a little bit even about her sobriety story. To me, Chrystal is making big waves in the sober community. I don't think that she would describe her work that way. She's very humble. But she caught my attention right away as someone who personally is living sober, living free and delivered from alcohol something like 9 years going on ten years.

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And so when I hear of someone who is helping other women in that same way, but they're doing it with Jesus, I mean, come on. So I'm excited to introduce you to Chrystal and let her tell you a little bit about herself. But before we do that, you know me and I love to start with prayer. So join me and we're gonna pray over this episode, pray over the listeners and we'll dive right into it.

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Lord Jesus, we just want to thank you for our listener today. We ask you to just bless this woman. I pray that her ears would be open to hear everything that she needs to hear and that her heart that you would soften any stony places and let her know that you see her as a daughter even right now. And that you want her in your family, you want her to come home if she's out there lost or if she's strayed. I just pray God, that you would bless the listener to know their rightful place, their rightful identity in you, the rightful purposes that you have already laid out for her, that her life is not a mistake, that she is not too far gone.

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Father, I just pray that you would set this woman's chorus on track right now. In the name of Jesus. Pour out all of your love on her word. I ask, I pray even that you would just let your Holy Spirit even just comfort her. I just get the sense that there's someone listening today.

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I'm going to speak to that one. There's someone listening today who just feels lost and abandoned and in a very dark place. So I ask Holy Spirit that you would even just invade that person's face even right now, pushing out the darkness and showing her the light of Christ Jesus and who she really is in you. And we just trust you that your perfect will be done in Jesus name, amen.

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Alright, so big, big welcome to Chrystal. Thank you so much for coming on today. Okay? Yeah. Thank you so much for having me.

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It is an honor. We are so honored to hear your story today. I know that you're going to share with us a little bit about your journey through sobriety, and now you're helping women become alcohol free. So would you just share with us so we can hear it from you? I know I gave a little introduction, but a little bit about who you are and just kind of diving into your testimony a little bit.

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Okay, so yeah, so like she said, my name is Chrystal, I'm a Christian life coach, and I specifically help women just navigate their alcohol free journey while building a strong foundation in Christ. And what I really been working with women a lot lately, too, is as I'm helping them walk through their alcohol free journey, I'm really helping them really step into their purpose, too, because going through my own journey and I was somebody that really struggled with binge drinking, and so I was never an everyday drinker. But when I did drink, I drink. Okay. I always drink to get drunk.

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I drink to get tipsy. It was never just kind of just have one little drink like that. Honestly, to me, in my head, that was just insane. I never even understood why people did that. But as I kind of went on my journey of binge drinking, I guess it really just led to some really dark times in my life.

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And I would say I was probably been for, I don't know, maybe like, ten years. A lot of the friends that I had at that time were also binge drinkers as well, and so it just seemed like a normal thing to do. But there were times where I started to realize, okay, I'm kind of getting in trouble here, okay? I'm doing things that I don't regret, or I was having heightened anxiety. I started having, I guess you can call them more like the hangover blues after I would drink.

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And it just there was just different a lot of red flags that I, for so long tried so hard to keep alcohol in my life, because in my head, I was like, how am I going to live without alcohol? Everybody's drinks, right? Quote unquote, everybody's drinks. And so when I got into this into a longterm relationship that I was in, I didn't know, obviously at the beginning, but he was actually struggling with substance abuse. It was a little bit heavier than what I was dealing with.

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It was more like an everyday addiction. Well, it turned into that as we continue to be together. And so throughout that whole relationship, things just got really toxic really fast. But, I mean, I stayed in this relationship for probably 1011 years, so it was a really long time. But finally, I guess, during this relationship, towards the end, obviously, I really was looking for something.

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And at that time, I really didn't know that it was God. Like I had believed in God. I don't want to say I knew God, but I believed in God. I knew he existed, but I never really knew what it meant to have a relationship with Jesus. I just thought okay, cool.

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Like everybody believes God. I honestly thought everybody believed in God. Everybody went to heaven, and that's just kind of what I knew. And when I have found the church that I now go to, they really opened my eyes to just unconditional love, really, and just the heart of Jesus. So I really just started to go to church and just start even just reading the Bible and just really started.

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Yeah, just kind of like going all in in my faith. And I really didn't know what that all meant at that time, but as I did that, the Lord started to just open my eyes with different things in my life. And like I said, I kind of already knew about the alcohol piece a little bit, but I wasn't really willing to let it go. And so as I began to grow closer to the Lord, he started to bring to light, hey, you probably should let go of alcohol. But I kind of wrestled with Him for a while on that.

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And then, like I said in this relationship, when I felt the Lord was saying to leave that relationship finally, I think it took me like two years to finally leave after the Lord have been telling me, don't recommend anybody waiting that long after the Lord tells you something. But so finally when I left, that kind of when I hit my rock bottom. And if my life was a movie, you would look at it and be like, that was your rock bottom, because there's so many different things that happened before then. But when I left that relationship, I realized I had found so much my identity in that relationship and also who I was when I drink in alcohol. And so I remember it was shortly after I had broke up with him, we separated and so forth, and I just started drinking even more because I didn't know how to handle my emotions.

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I didn't know how to handle my triggers. I did not know how to live without him because it was a very codependent relationship. And if anybody has been in a relationship or has had a loved one that struggles with addiction, codependency happens pretty often. And so, you know, I was trying to be safer for a long time, and so that was kind of missing in my life once I left the relationship. And so I remember the days that I was actually alcohol free just became shorter and shorter.

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There wasn't very sober days, and again, I wasn't drinking every single day. But I got to a point where I remember I was sitting on my floor of my apartment. It was after just drinking really heavily. And I remember sitting on my floor and for the first time in my life, I felt like I was losing control of my drinking because it was like every three days I wanted to drink because I didn't know how to deal with this new life. It was just so much for me and I just didn't know how to navigate it, you know?

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And so I remember sitting on my floor and I was just like, okay, if I don't stop now, I'm going to become a full-blown alcoholic, most likely a drug addict, and I'm not going to be able to fully step into my purpose. And at this time, I was already a coach, obviously not in sobriety, but I was a wellness coach and things like that. And so I knew God was calling me to more. And I look back now and I'm like, that was totally the Holy Spirit just saying, hey, you need to stop now. You're not going to be able to fulfill this purpose that I have for you.

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And so at that moment, my pastors kind of knew what was going on. They had been walking with me through that whole relationship and just counseling me and through the alcohol piece as well. So I called them and I was just like, I don't know what to do. I was like, I'm losing control and I need help. And so they really helped me stay accountable.

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I hired a sober coach for a little bit as well, and I also hired a Christian counselor, and I just kind of went all in in my sobriety journey in with Jesus. And that's what really kind of led me to where I'm at today. So it's been a wild ride, but God has really just wrecked my life in the best way possible. And I'm just so grateful and it's even just so honoring to help women do the same. I try to keep that short, but there's so much story.

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Yeah, no, I understand that completely. You shared that because, as you thought, everybody believed in God. It sounds like it was just natural for you to then transition into church because, well, that's where people go when they're looking for God or they need help from God. Was there no resistance at all to like, the Jesus stuff? No, not really.

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And like I said, I feel like I didn't really know that I was really looking for God. I remember at that time, I just felt like empty, I guess. And I remember I was on Facebook and I actually came across an acquaintance of mine. We were on dancing together. We had went to high school.

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And I remember seeing her and I remember just thinking, oh my gosh, she just looks so happy, and I want to be that happy. And it just so happened that her and her husband were actually what I thought were doing the Bible study. And so that's kind of what drew me in. And I was like, okay. I was like, well, you know, and for a couple of years before that, I was thinking about joining the Bible.

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Say that's, like, as far as I was kind of, like, into it at that time. And I sent her a message and I was just like, hey, what is this that you guys have going on? What's the details? Can I join in? And she was like, yeah.

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And so she invited me to their apartment. And it wasn't a Bible study. They were actually hosting church out of their apartment. Oh, cool. That was very much outside of my comfort zone.

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It was wild, but I feel like the Lord just kind of eased me in. But I knew that I was looking for something. I didn't know that it was God. I really didn't have resistance towards Jesus at all. And honestly, I didn't even know Jesus.

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I really didn't even know God. I just needed something. God just let me there. Yeah, I've heard people describe that as a God sized whole. Like you feel that there's some emptiness.

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We come to know that later. It's God, right? But like, nothing can fulfill it. Alcohol can't fulfill it, relationships can't fulfill it, career cannot fulfill it. And it's so beautiful how he just truly like, he keeps his hand on us and he gently brings us back home.

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I really have been so just kind of meditative on knowing him as our shepherd. Like, the shepherd's job is to attend to the sheep and make sure the sheep are safe at night. And that's the shepherd's job. He really does guide us in that gentle, sweet way. So that's kind of cool that he just use your surroundings, use what was already around you to help pull you back home to him.

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How beautiful. Yeah, definitely. And it's honestly kind of crazy too, when I look back, because my friend and her husband, they had actually just moved from Del Rio, San Antonio. So this was like, very new. And I remember one day I'll never forget it, and this was still when I was bridging.

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They actually embarrassingly enough. They actually picked me up from a bar one time. They were really in it with me. And I remember my pastor telling me, he was like, now that we've been here, he was like, I feel like the Lord literally brought us here for you and to help you. And I'll never forget him saying that.

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I literally still get chilled. And it just kind of goes into what you were saying about him being a shepherd. Like, he was just bringing people to help me and to work through. So it's really cool. It makes me emotional.

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Yeah, it's so beautiful. Yeah. God is just so awesome. He is so awesome. I'm curious then how did you know you spoke a little bit about this.

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How did you know it was time for you to go from this place of, okay, the Lord has given this freedom to me. Now it's time for me to help other women. How does that shift come for you? Yeah, I was already doing like wellness coaching, so I already have that desire to help women and I was kind of already in that coaching realm. But as far as the sobriety, I feel like that just kind of slowly came because even when I was doing the wellness coaching, I would still do little sober challenges, but I did them for myself.

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It was kind of like, okay, come do this with me. And so I was kind of like simultaneously helping people. And once I actually got free from that, I feel like it wasn't just like a moment, but it was slowly that God was putting me in that position. And that's when I realized I was like, okay, this is so a part of my purpose and I'm just really passionate about it. And now, like I said, even this year, I got to put another fire and need to just really help women step into their purpose.

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And how letting go of alcohol is literally just the preparation and stepping into that. It was kind of like a slow transition. A slow transition. But it also sounds like one day you woke up and you're like, I'm doing this already. He's already put this right in front of me.

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I love that because I've seen him do that so many times in other people's lives. I've seen him do it in my life. And sometimes I'm like, we can be the last ones to know that's the purpose that he's put on us, these things that he's putting right in front of our faces every day to help people through, that's so awesome. I love that. Well, like, I shared your work stood out to me because I have never really seen someone so vocal and on fire about Jesus and his freedom that he can bring you.

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And the alcohol is really not the issue. That's not the issue. It's something else. Right? The alcohol or the addiction is a form of bondage, but that's not the issue.

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And this kind of leads into my next question. How is this work that you're doing different than what some people may consider to be like a twelve step program? Yeah, absolutely. So it's actually been my goal to kind of fill in the gaps of selfset programs and other programs out there. And because I remember when I was struggling with bin strength, I mean, I looked for different ways to get help and of course A was one of the top things.

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Like that's always what everybody just kind of recommends. And I did try it out. I went to and when I say try it out, I went to a sumit and for me personally, it just didn't jive with me for a few reasons. And at that time I was already kind of like reading the Bible. And for me, I feel like some things weren't really aligned.

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And so what I've kind of tried to do in my coaching program is have the focus be a little different. And so I always want the focus to Jesus and I don't want the focus to be what people have done or people are even doing right now. Right. If somebody is struggling with binge drinking or even just drinking every single day, that is not who they are. And so I guess I would say what's different with my program is the focus isn't you saying, hi, I'm an alcoholic or I'm an addict or you're your trauma.

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That's just not the focus I have. The focus is visas. And the focus is also when we're removing the alcohol. Yeah, that's a big part of the problem. But like you said, that is just the surface, that is the sin, that is the behavior, right?

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And so we really focus on the mindset, really taking those thoughts passed and we really shift our focus to life giving things because again, it's my goal to take away the power from alcohol, right? And so if we're so focused on counting the number of days, we're so focused on not drinking, it's like you just want to do it even more. It's kind of like I like to compare it to like a diet, right? If you start a diet and somebody's like, you can't eat this and this and this, you're just focused on what you can't eat, right, opposed to actually the results that you're going to get from that, opposed to the positivity that's going to come from that. And so I really just try to keep a focus on lifegiving things, on life skills that's actually going to help you sustain an alcohol free lifestyle.

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Because again, it's not just about the behavior. There's so much more that needs to be unraveled. Even in my life when I removed alcohol, guess what? All of this other stuff came up. I had to learn how to deal with my emotions.

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I had to, you know, mature, emotionally mature in my face. I had to learn how to deal with my triggers. I had to learn how to take my thoughts captive. And really, I had to get back in control, right? The Lord gives us power and control in his name and by the gifts he's given us.

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And I've had to learn that. So that's what I want to share with women. That's what I want to help them step into. So I would say that's the difference in my program as opposed to traditional steps. Praise God.

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I'm just so excited to hear you speak about it. It's a fire for me to obviously having walked through that experience of being addicted to alcohol, binge drinking and all of that, and I just, I'm so excited for the women who are going to hear this message today and know that there's another way. I know there's an alternative because I think sometimes, especially for women, I mean, we can say it's the enemy, we can say whatever, it's our flesh, whatever. But I think sometimes there's this stigma that women shouldn't be dealing with these issues or I know in my scenario I was like fresh out of college, so I'm like, oh, all young people drink. There's these stigmas, these ideas.

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And sometimes women get to a place where they're stuck and they don't know there's an alternative or there's another way, or if you know, those twelve step programs don't work for them or are they a failure now? All these kinds of weird things, these weird thoughts, and it's just so beautiful to me that the Lord has given you this ability to fill that gap and stand in that gap and just like minister out the truth. Just minister out the truth that your identity is not your identity in Jesus is no longer your sin. He sets us free and we are not a slave to sin anymore. And that is so beautiful.

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I just can't imagine the chains breaking off from these women who are in your programs aren't going to find you do this work. I get excited about it. I get passionate about it. Like I'm not even the one doing the coaching.

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I'm curious because I sat down before this interview and I prayed about it and God gave me some questions to ask you. And one of those questions is what is a favorite scripture or a Bible verse that you would say to a woman who is in the place where she is struggling in her addiction? I do, and I always forget the exact verse, but it is an Isaiah. Let me see. I actually have it right here.

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I forget the exact verse. I think it's Isaiah, maybe 40, but it's the one that says, those who hope in the Lord will read through their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary, and they will walk and not be faint. That is one of my favorite verses.

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And you would think I would know the exact verse.  My brain just doesn't work that way. I understand that. I can look it up real quick. We can look it up.

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Yes. I want to get better at remembering where it is in the Bible. I read my Bible through, but I still sometimes cannot remember the exact verse. Just like finding directions, I can tell you that.

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You know, turn left at the gas station. But I can't tell you what the street name is. Right? Yeah, but it Isaiah 40:31. Isaiah 40:31, I love that.

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Thank you so much. I can randomly quote scriptures.

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I'm like praying about that like, Lord, help me. Help me. What I needed to know, the right scripture reference. But thank you so much for that.

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And I'm sure that's going to bless someone. I want to ask you because this is going to help our listener who doesn't know him yet. What do you love about Jesus? Can you share a little bit about what you love about that relationship with Him? For me, it's just the unconditional love.

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Like I said, I can see emotional because it just reminds me of my whole journey. And just like I said when I found my church, that's something that really stood out to me. They really showed me the love of Christ and they didn't judge me. They didn't try to fix me. They were just there to do life with me.

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And so I feel like that's what I love about God. He loves me enough to in a sense, like, convict me and push me to change, right. Because he loves me. He loves us so much, but also he loves us when we're not so good and when we're struggling and wrestling with Him. Like he still loves us.

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And there literally is there's no condition, there's no way that he can love us more than he does right now. So wherever anybody's out on their walk with God, whether maybe it's just listening to this podcast and you're just like, oh, my gosh, I think I want to try Jesus out. Like, he's not going to love you more than he does right now. And I think that's such a cool thing about God is that love, that unconditional love. It makes me emotional too.

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Yeah, there's nothing like it. There's nothing like it. There's nothing like the unconditional love. Jesus, he just pours it on us and we can reject it or we can receive it. And even if we reject it, he loves us.

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He loves us and he never stops pursuing us. It's just wonderful. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, definitely. And that's like another piece that I love about Jesus too.

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It reminds me of the song Reckless Love, which I'm sure a lot of people are familiar with. It's a real popular Christian song where I just talk about him just like, you know, chasing after us and he's just going to, like, knock down all the walls. And it doesn't matter if he's still, like, pursuing us, like even if we turn away or even if we aren't being in full of stole up and still pursues us. That's right. I'm being led right now to speak to someone who has maybe had a bad experience in the church.

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We just heard Chrystal share. That her church. She walked in the doors and they were just doing life with her. They just wanted to they were glad to see her. They just wanted to spend time with her.

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They weren't there to point a finger at her and condemn her, you know? And I just want someone to hear that. If you had a poor experience in the church, you are not alone. So many people have had a terrible experience. I think we forget sometimes that the church is full of people and people can mess up, people can make mistakes.

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And the difference in being the difference in following Jesus is that he comes to be with us and live his life out through us. With the help of this Holy Spirit.

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We have a place to go whenever we mess up. We have a place we're always loved. You know, we don't have to bear the weight of our burden, our sins. We don't have to walk in that 24/7. He wants us to have freedom and have and so maybe I'm rambling, but I just send someone out there.

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We have especially women. God gives me these women to work with and we can hold on to so much, like so many little things, so many subconscious things, so many little hurts. And I just want someone to hear that there is a church out there, probably in your own area that is going to love on you and love you back to life the way that it should be in Christ Jesus. Yeah, definitely. I'm going to drop that.

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I might drop that there and leave it and let you pick it up. Let the Lord do his thing with that. Yeah. So thank you so much for sharing your experience with us and being so open about that. Thank you so much.

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Tell us how we can find you and your work. Yes. So my main platform is definitely ticked off, but I am on Instagram as well. And as far as working with me on both of those platforms, it's just kind of like my link in my bio. You have to click that or you can always message me directly.

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My IDs are always open. I'm not sure if you want to put this in the show notes or if it's literally just my first and last name for both platform. Yeah, I'll put it all in the show notes. Yeah. Okay, perfect.

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Okay. And I should have asked this first. Is there anything that is there anything else that you wanted to share or that you feel like needs to be said?

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Honestly, I kind of want to piggyback on what you were talking about. As far as you have anybody that maybe had a bad experience in the church and I know you did say this, I just kind of want to reiterate it that if that is somebody that is listening out of that experience in the church. Just be reminded that, like you said like that, that's people and sometimes we can pull away from Jesus and because of people and that just basically don't represent him correctly. And so I just want to encourage anybody that has pulled away or maybe thinking about pulling away because of experience that they're having or have had. Just know that's not Jesus's heart and to pray about it.

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God will teach you to where he wants. You to be because there is a good church out there and people do love you and God loves you and he's not going to leave hanging out there just by yourself. And the next thing that I'll say is I also just feel led to talk about too. Like I know in my walk with God too, before I fully really got to know Jesus and start that relationship with him, I know I had this thought of him just being like this God that is like sitting up on the cloud just ready to punish me. And I think that really hindered I mean it did.

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It hindered my walk with Him and my perception of Him. And so when it comes to these things, like struggling with alcohol or struggling with Justin in general, sometimes we want to wait to be perfect, to go to God. And the truth is he loves you. Like I said earlier, he loves you exactly where you're at and he's going to meet you where you're at and he's ready with open arms to help you. And so don't let that need of perfection or don't let the enemy get in your head and say that you're not good enough, you're not worthy right where you're at because you are.

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And God's going to meet you exactly where you're at. So that's kind of what I wanted to share. That was on my heart. Thank you so much for that. That's so beautiful.

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It reminds me of the parable about the Father and the Son who oh, what's the name of that parable? I forget the heading in my Bible, but everybody's heard the story. The father who is waiting for his son and he just goes running up to his son. His son has walked away and got himself in a lot of trouble, but realizes that he needs to come home. The prodigal the prodigal son.

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That's right. Yes, the prodigal son. That's for someone. That's for someone. Go look that up.

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The prodigal son story in the Bible. But just to know Him that way, he loves us even in our mess, it doesn't mean that he always, you know, it doesn't mean he approves of our sinful behavior. But he does not want us to run from Him. He wants us to bring that to Him. And it is so much easier to watch those chains break off from you whenever you're like before your Father, before the Lord Jesus.

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Those chains will break off from you so much easier than you trying to do it by yourself. Like, I have seen people spend a lifetime trying to do it themselves or do it through like talk therapy alone. And there's just a measure of freedom. Jesus wants us to be all the way free and that's available to you. So I love that you added that.

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Yes. Don't wait for quote, unquote, perfection. Come to him now. Come to him now.

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What freedom we have to be able to come to Jesus. What a gift to be able to come to Him. You don't have to wait until you find a quote unquote, church home. You don't have to wait until you clean yourself up. You can simply cry out to Him right now, where you're at?

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Over and over again on this podcast, you've heard women speak about how they met the Lord, whether it was sitting on their living room couch, whether it was in church, or any number of circumstances. The beauty is that wherever you are, God's there too. Wherever you are, he's there and he's ready. So I just want to, like, always leave this window, this space here to help invite the listener to meet the man of Jesus Christ. If you don't know Him and you want to, and something is tugging on your heart and it feels weird, that's the Holy Spirit, and he is softening your heart and he is drawing you back home to your Father, to your Lord.

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Maybe you already have a relationship with God and it's grown still. Listen, we've heard it today. We've heard it right from Chrystal, our guest. Like, you don't have to wait for some kind of perfect circumstance. The time is now.

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So repent of your sin to repent, just to turn away completely. Turn away from trying to do it on your own. Turn away from trying to make the wrong thing right. Turn away from it and turn towards Jesus. Because I promise, as you look right into his face, oh, my goodness, it will just come melting off of you.

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The change. There's just a freedom there. There's a freedom available. So I'm going to lead you to the man of Jesus Christ. These words, these prayers, this particular prayer is not some kind of secret formula.

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The Lord rather sees your heart, and he promises that everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So will you call on him with me? Lord Jesus, I acknowledge and confess my sin. I acknowledge and confess my need of you, and I proclaim you as Lord. I need you to be the Lord of my life.

[00:34:16]
I am ready to stop doing life by myself. I'm ready for your help. I'm ready for your wisdom. And I'm so grateful that all I have to do is ask with the sincere hearts. Thank you.

[00:34:30]
I just ask you to help me to make the choices I need to make. Lead me in truth, lead me in the path that I need to be walking in. And just please help me in Jesus name, amen. And if you said that prayer for the first time, welcome to the family.

[00:34:55]
That's a wrap for this episode. As always, God bless you. Thank you for tuning in. If you would like to share your own personal, safe story, please reach out. You can go to a new creationpodcast.com and find me there, or you can contact me on my social action is lachelle.

[00:35:17]
I'd love to hear your story. May God bless you and keep you until we meet again.